10 Great Sex Tips for Married Couples

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Lauren was able to be very empathetic and compassionate and gracious and not demanding while the gospel did its work of healing and repairing the broken parts of me. What follows is an edited transcript of the full conversation with Chandler. I think that it served as an awesome part of our early bonding.

If you take notice, if you are intrigued or interested, make a date! It was kind of slimy, fairly odd, and I never expected teeth to be a factor. You hear a lot of advice before you get married. I am reminded of my definition for sex: any activity that has as its intent or develops into a sexual stimulation is sex.

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A wise man once told me that there were only two outcomes for dating relationships: getting married or breaking up. The next one did too. This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Does he like me? What does this text mean? Why did he sit next to me at church? Did she want my sweatshirt because she was cold, or because she likes me? But what if there was another option? If you take notice, if you are intrigued or interested, make a date! Get together—one on one. We are talking about one afternoon or evening together, not a lifetime. Dating helps two people sort out what it would be like to be together, to be in a friendship. Most of marriage involves time together, one on one, in a friendship. And spending intentional one-on-one time—not too serious, just time—allows both parties to experience what it would be like to continue in the relationship. Everyone is different when you get them one-on-one. He was horrible at interviews, but by the 38th one, he had learned how to engage with good questions, talk about himself an appropriate amount and gauge interest from himself and the interviewer. Dating can be like that too. What if you completely jettison the idea of finding your husband or wife via dating, at least for the first five dates? What if dating is about getting to know someone and gauging interest, not lifelong compatibility? The great thing about changing expectations is that it lowers the pressure on grabbing dinner together and figuring out if the two of you even like talking to one another! In truth, kindness is not about passivity. Kindness is honoring someone in your treatment of them, but kindness is also honoring them by ending a dating relationship if needed. Will it be awkward? But you can start somewhere—slowly, and casually—and trust God to lead you into more.

Society tells you to give in to the moment. What do you like or dislike. I think we get it backwards. Rent or buy a rad superhero costume and spring it on him after you have sent the kids elsewhere. Always be adding to your sexual manual. It brings us closer together as we care for each other every day. What sounds like fun to try?.